Years ago my old ass OG uncles was a bad influence on me … They came around boasting about the magical powers of Viagra … They told me that it keeps them harder than the beats on DMX first album … They said it makes them capable of hanging wet body towels on their dick … At first I was laughing like you old niggas can’t stay up like insomniacs you OG niggas are finished … It was the summertime and I killing more bitches than Jason’s knife … I was buying condoms frequently since I didn’t have Magic Johnson’s Buckleys connect at the time … I wasn’t trying to catch nothing … Some bitches can light Snoop Lion’s spliff with their box … It was one chick that was in my text messages talking crazy freak shit … She was making it seem like her pussy change niggas like Erykah Badu’s shit … Chick’s that brag about their sex game be having the trash box … One chick box was so trash I felt like shooting a paper ball in her shit … So yeah I had met the shit talking diva at club Amazura in Queens …
INSIDE A PRETTY GIRL’S PHONE
A Pretty Woman Has Multiple Men In Her Phone. She Labels Them All Mentally In Different Categories. Here’s The Main 7 Categories.
The Food Delivery/Personal Cab Man
He’s the guy that’s extremely thirsty or nice. She’s usually not attracted to him at all. She uses his thirst against him by making him drop off late night meals or pick her up from random places. He’s never allowed to come upstairs under no circumstances. He leads the nation in 10 minute car talks with attractive women.
The Head On Demand Guy
He’s usually the creepiest nigga in her phone.She uses his for his exceptional mouth romance skills. She might even let her close friend get some head from him too. He’s the type of nigga that’ll eat pussy & ass on the first date. He’s usually a weirdo but attractive. The head on demand guy is always ready to devour some pussy 24/7 365. He loves eating for 30 minutes to an hour. He doesn’t care about having sex at all. He’s happy with swallowing some vagina juice.
The Ex Boo With Great Dick
He’s the guy that she never got completely over. She still stalks his Twitter and Instagram faithfully. She calls him up randomly for some dick. He knows all her hot spots and makes her cum rivers. He’s the guy that receives her drunk “You up?”, “Are you busy?”, and “Wake Up!” text after a good night of clubbing with the ladies. She knows that another serious relationship with him will never happen.
LOVE Vs LUST Starring TREY & KARINA
So I decided to hang out with Usher. My homegirls are such a bad influence on me. I know Trey is probably fucking every bitch on Instagram that get 1000 likes per picture. I wanted to fuck Usher back when I was still a virgin. My celebrity crushes was Roger from Sister Sister, Stephon from Family Matters, and Usher. Trey had told me he’ll be back home Saturday night or Sunday morning. He was doing club appearances in CT, PA, and D.C. It was the perfect time for me to creep around like Carmen SanDiego. I told Usher to meet me in the city near Times Square. I wore a skin tight red dress that showcased every curve. I had Virgin Indian on my head and Giuseppe on my feet. I’m a bad bitch that’s a fucking problem. My cousin Naya that works at Sephora (NiniLuvsMakUp On Youtube) beat my face up to perfection. I was looking better than the bank accounts on the Forbes list. Usher took me to some fancy Italian restaurant. He didn’t bring up Trey one time during dinner. I was happy for that. I really hate lying. We talked about a bunch of random shit and joked around. The vibes between us was good. He smiled and flirted a lot but I expected that from an R&B singer.
Short Story - My CatFish Story SMFH By Kasmo Huxtable
So this chick name Rachel from Connecticut invited to spend the weekend with her. I’ve been chatting with her via text for about 6 months. We used to talk on the phone too. She didn’t have a Facebook or Instagram. I found that to be more suspect than R.Kelly double parked outside a High School prom. I only had her Twitter icon to judge her looks on. She had a dope Avi though. She was brown skin, pretty, and chubby thick. Chubby thick is when a chick is a Philly Cheese steak and Arizona Green Tea away from being fat. Rachel had curves though. She had a big booty and some double D sweater puppies. She would send me pics of her ass and boobs. The pictures were never full body.