The Naked Rockstar Presents Kasmo Huxtable’s Box Whisperer Book Release Party At 49 Grove Nightclub On Monday December 23rd At 7PM … No Dress Code But Dress To Impress … Cameras Will Be Flashing … Food, Drinks, Hookah, Gift Bags, & Books!!!
The Crazy Girlfriend 101
1. She hacks into your passwords – Are some of your emails marked read that you never read? Do text messages and phone numbers magically disappear out of your phone? Did the hot girl on your Instagram magically get unfollowed? Your girlfriend has your password bro. A crazy girlfriend will secretly watch you enter your password and slowly memorize it. They also have a great ability of guessing passwords correctly.
2. She randomly pops up on you – Sometimes a man just need a night out with the fellas or a night in alone. The crazy girlfriend will pop up without informing you. She will hug you from behind at the club while you out partying with your homeboys. She will ring your doorbell while you playing Madden in your boxers. The crazy girlfriend will always try to catch you doing something you don’t suppose to be doing.
3. She knows things you didn’t tell her about – Guys don’t tell women everything in the early stages of the relationships. The crazy girlfriend will bring up little secrets you didn’t tell her. She most likely did some serious investigating before getting involved with you. Every woman got a little Inspector Deck inside them.
4. She made her own house key with telling you – The crazy girlfriend will make a copy of your house keys without hesitation. She will offer to run an errand such as picking up food, dropping clothes off to the cleaners, or walking the dog. That gives her the opportunity to stop at the hardware store and copy your keys. The crazy girlfriend will investigate your apartment while you’re at work or out and about with friends and family.
Pre-Order Kasmo Huxtable’s The Box Whisperer Topic Advice Book
So I was home having a funny ass dream … I was in La Marina with Magic Johnson dancing to Hov’s “Fuck With Me You Know I Got It” … Magic was boogying too … Bitches was looking at him like he was crazy … I woke up cracking up … I had to get ready for my hot $200 date with a chick name Meeka … She was from Clinton Hills … Bitches respond to “Food & Drinks?” text with amazing speed … Bitches love food and drinks … Pretty women always fucking hungry … I really don’t think they have a refrigerator in their house … Of course she pulled out her phone at the dinner table … She took pics of her food and drinks for da Gram … I was thinking you doing a lot for some Wendy’s … Nah I took her to Wolfgang’s Steakhouse in the city … Shorty was looking better than an EBT card with 3 stacks on it … She had a phat ass, smooth brown skin, pretty face, full lips , no stomach, and wide hips … Bitch licked her lips and I caught a woodie … I almost knocked the table over smh
Badu Box – This is the most dangerous kind of pussy on the planet. Badu box will make your whole body feel soaking wet while swimming inside it. Every woman claims to possess this type of pussy but only a few really own this amazing feline. This type of pussy will have Captain Planet smoking a cigarette after stroking it. This type of pussy will have your boyfriend looking for you in the daytime with a flashlight. This type of pussy will have a notorious gang member hugging random trees in his neighborhood. This type of pussy will have the Hulk tapping out. It possesses the power to change a man’s ways to the owner’s liking. Most Badu box come equipped with a black belt in kegel kung fu. The kegel death grip is a sex move that most erections can’t handle at all. The move has made me start talking like the Pillsbury doughboy in the bedroom. I could barely speak, my eyes started watering, and my neck started doing the Stevie Wonder head movements. It was simply amazing. Badu box also taste better than anything Snapple has ever created. It tastes like warm pineapple juice from concentrate mixed with virgin unicorn tears. Badu Box is well known to have grown men moaning while eating it. Some Badu box owners have the ability to squirt like a fire hose. This one chick’s pussy should’ve worn a mini firefighter hat. She had my bedroom walls drenched with Badu box nectar.
20 Signs You Have Mystical BADU Box
If a guy ever pulled out then banged his dick on your butt cheeks
If a guy ever randomly popped at your job unannounced
If you ever received random flowers and Edible Arrangements
If a guy ever deleted other guys numbers out of your cellphone
If a guy ever burped while giving you head
If a guy ever promised you a round two then fell asleep for hours
If somebody ever gave you head for over 30 minutes
If more than 4 guys lied and said “Damn I never came that fast before babe”
If you ever had sex during the Super Bowl, NBA Finals, or a Floyd Mayweather fight
If a guy ever compared the taste of your pussy to fruits such as mango, strawberry, cherry, and pineapple
If you ever created a wet spot worthy of taking a picture
If you ever stopped a party every weekend guy from partying for months
If you have the rare ability to squirt your natural juices down a throat
If you a guy ever gave you a set of keys to his crib or his debit card PIN number
If you ever made a guy have more than 3 orgasms in one night
If a guy ever got furious over something you posted on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram
If a guy ever asked you to delete any of your social networking accounts
If a guy ever moaned damn near louder than you while eating it
If the sound of a penis stroking your box sounds like the stirring of macaroni and cheese or tuna salad
If a guy ever started humming R&B classics on your clitoris
S/O To The Queen Eyrkah Badu