The Crazy Girlfriend 101

August 15, 2014 / 7 ♥

- She hacks into your passwords – Are some of your emails marked read that you never read? Do text messages and phone numbers magically disappear out of your phone? Did the hot girl on your Instagram magically get unfollowed? Your girlfriend has your password bro. A crazy girlfriend will secretly watch you enter your password and slowly memorize it. They also have a great ability of guessing passwords correctly.

- She randomly pops up on you – Sometimes a man just need a night out with the fellas or a night in alone. The crazy girlfriend will pop up without informing you. She will hug you from behind at the club while you out partying with your homeboys. She will ring your doorbell while you playing Madden in your boxers. The crazy girlfriend will always try to catch you doing something you don’t suppose to be doing.

- She knows things you didn’t tell her about – Guys don’t tell women everything in the early stages of the relationships. The crazy girlfriend will bring up little secrets you didn’t tell her. She most likely did some serious investigating before getting involved with you. Every woman got a little Inspector Deck inside them.

- She made her own house key with telling you – The crazy girlfriend will make a copy of your house keys without hesitation. She will offer to run an errand such as picking up food, dropping clothes off to the cleaners, or walking the dog. That gives her the opportunity to stop at the hardware store and copy your keys. The crazy girlfriend will investigate your apartment while you’re at work or out and about with friends and family.

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Eating Pussy/Snatching Her Soul 101

August 13, 2014 / 171 ♥

5 Tips On Eating Pussy & Snatching Her Soul

1. Focus on the clitoris. It’s nothing wrong with showing the rest of the pussy attention but always give her clitoris the most love. Licking/Sucking the clitoris correctly is like turning on a faucet. Your chin will be soaked in no time.

2. Eat the pussy don’t eat the pussy. Don’t chew on the clitoris like it’s a piece of Orbit gum. No woman enjoys head that feels like a wild lion is giving it to her. You can be aggressive without being brutal.

3. Make sure you slurp and moan. Women love hearing the giver making sounds while eating it. The sounds effects of you slurping her vagina will turn her on. Women also love to hear the eater moan. It tells her that you are enjoying your tasty meal. Please don’t start moaning louder than her though.

4. Fingering the kitty. Some women love to be fingered while receiving mouth romance. They want you to find their G spot with your finger while licking/sucking their clitoris. When done correctly this technique can cause a vaginal tsunami. Every part of your face will be drenched with her sweet lady nectar.

5. Don’t stop once she starts having an orgasm in your mouth. Never stop. She’ll hate you forever. Don’t be scared to taste her cum either. Be a man and lick or suck it all out. Make slurping sound effects while you doing it too. Keep eating if she can handle it. Most women vagina become way too sensitive to keep getting licked after busting a nut.

25 Things Women Want Men To Know

August 13, 2014 / 46 ♥

  1. Saying “I love you” right before, during, and after doesn’t count.
  2. Forehead kisses and hugs from behind will never be played out.
  3. Slightly moaning while you eating it turn them on more.
  4. Don’t expect to get your hats, t-shirts, or basketball shorts back.
  5. Arguments are rehearsed in their heads before the real one start.
  6. They will always battle for the last word.
  7. One word opinions piss them off.
  8. Great oral sex will get you out Snoopy’s doghouse. A pair of new shoes or handbag works too.
  9. Show the breast some love before eating the pussy.
  10. Never be afraid to take the lead.
  11. Recognize she’s the best thing that ever happened to you.
  12. Please stop bringing up your ex-girlfriend. Fuck that bitch.

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August 13, 2014 / 13 ♥

 

Dear Guys In The Friend Zone

- Stop picking her ass up from the club to take her home. She won’t even fuck you while drunk off Patron. Think about it. She won’t even fuck you while drunk off Patron.

- Stop eating her ass with your jeans on multiple times. She enjoys your tongue massaging her Chipotle seasoned asshole even though she has never seen your dick before.

- Stop buying her gifts every time she chills with you. She only links up with you to pick up money, shoes, or a handbag. Santa Claus is calling you a sucker right now.

- Stop giving her rent money for a place that she never let you visit. She’s enjoying another free month of fucking her ex courtesy of you.

- Stop letting her and her friends run a train on your face.  They’re having a group chat right now laughing at you. Mad emojis too.

- Stop catching feelings if she only let you eat her pussy. She uses you to release some nut then goes to her ex for some dick.

- Stop allowing her to sleep in your bed with street clothes on. She sleeps in your bed with a hoody and sweat pants while you daydream about fucking her.

- Stop letting her fake borrow money every other week. She’s uses your money to get dolled up for the next man. Hair done, nails done, everything did.

- Stop bringing her late night meals. She only hits you up to bring her oxtails or Wendy’s. She always leave out the car before the food get cold too.

- Stop taking her on vacation dates and not getting the pussy. She’s using your money to take sexy Instagram pictures.

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